WAIT. . .

Yesterday at work was unusually hard for me for some reason. I have two dear friends that I work with that are expecting babies. One is two weeks ahead of where I would have been and the other is four weeks behind were I would have been with my little baby that I lost. I enjoy so much watching them grow and realizing what a miracle they each have growing. For some reason though, today was hard. Jennifer found out that her baby is a girl and Bekah came in with an ultrasound picture of her little one~~oh so precious! I thought I was fine, then all of a sudden I lost it. I needed my husband. I needed my baby. My heart hurt like I can never remember it hurting before. I know that we can try again for another baby, but my emotions are crazy right now. I went into the bathroom at work to just cry and talk to God. I asked Him to please tell me what to do. "God please help me through this, I am beginning to doubt that I am ever to have another baby." Chuck was at home, so we exchanged some sweet text messages and he told me to hurry home after work. He knew that I needed him and he was waiting to comfort me. So, I drove home, but stopped at the mail box before going in the driveway. There was a pamplet in my mailbox, so for whatever reason I opened it to read what it was about. Inside it, in BIG letters was written WAIT. . . following those words was this peom that I know God put there for me, to comfort me in the time that I needed it most. Here is the peom:

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
And the Master so gently said, "Wait"
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your word."
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a "yes", a go-ahead sign.
Or even a "NO" to which I can resign."
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking; and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
" Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate.
As my Master repied again, "Wait".
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine. . .
and He tenderly said, i could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but wouldn't know me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that i give, and I save, for a start,
But, you'd now know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that' beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft my answers seem terribly late.
My most precious answer of all is still. . . Wait."

Once again my Heavenly Father has amazed me. He knew when that pamplet was mailed out that I would need it at that very moment. There it was to comfort me. He has shown me that IN HIS TIME I will have my baby, but for now, I must WAIT!!!