And Baby Makes Seven: Tomorrow will make two years. . .

The Story Begins. . .

I am not really sure where to start, but I will do my best to get you up to speed of where I am in this adventure at this time.Chuck and I have been married for almost 22 years. We dated for 18 months before we married. While we were dating, Chuck and I talked about having a family when we got married. Chuck told me that we would have a boy first, his name would be Joshua. Then we would have a girl, her name would be Tiffani. How was a girl to argue with that? He knew what he wanted from the start. His thought after that was that we would probably have two more, he didn't care what the sex of those were (although, he thought twin girls would be nice). Me? Well, I wanted six from the start and I didn't care in what order they came.WELL. . . in the first year that we were married, Joshua came along. He was the first born son that Chuck had told me about two and a half years earlier. He was such a joy. . . our little blonde headed blessing. He was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. He was special and he knew it. Just a little over two years later, Little Miss Tiffani came along, just like her daddy said she would. From the start, she was the Princess and everybody knew it including big brother Josh (and OH how he loved her). Five years passed, I had been in college to become a dental hygienist. Yes I did things a little backwards. I had gone to college just out of high school for almost two years, majoring in business. It just wasn't "my cup of tea", I knew there was something else for me. So, after marriage and two babies, I decided (with help from dear ole hubby) that I wanted to be a dental hygienist. It was tough with a 10 month old and a 2 1/2 year old, but I was determined. I graduated in May 1994. Just after graduating, we discovered to our surprise that we were expecting baby number three. Chuck was nervous and I was overjoyed. The summer was stressful, with having to complete my regional and national boards and find a job to start my new career. On July 15, 1994 I lost our precious baby to a miscarriage. I was at an all time low, blaming myself for loosing it. I felt as if no one understood (except my mom of course) afterall she had been through it every step of the way with me. Chuck kept reminding me how we had two healthy beautiful kids already. Josh was 7 and Tiffani was 5 at that time. Yes, they were wonderful!!! All I could do was pray, I put it in God's hands. I told Him to do with it what He choose. Well, on November 19th, the day my best friend (since the age of 5 years) Ann, gave birth to her second son, I found out that I was pregnant once again. Preston was born in July the following year. Boy, did he change our lives. He was a precious ball of fire. Josh was now 8 and Tiffani 6 and they adored him. He was spoiled rotten by all. Chuck was sure now that our family was complete, but me, well. . . I had my doubts. LOL We suddenly realized that such a age difference made Preston fall almost into the only child catagory. So, once again, Chuck agreed that we could try yet again. So, in December 1997, just before Josh turned 10 years old, we gave birth to Nathan. He came into the world 6 and 1/2 weeks early and surprised us all. He had a few struggles in the beginning, but was soon up to all that being the youngest of four would bring his way. What a perfect family we had. They were each special in their own little way. Here we were with the four children that Chuck had told me 11 years earlier that we would have. PERFECT!!!!When Nathan was about five, I had a long talk with God. I knew that day that I would have more children, at least one more daughter. When I would find special "baby things" that I had to have, I would buy them and hide them in my special tub in my room. It was mine and God's secret, but I knew that He would be "faithful" to His word, I just had to keep the FAITH.Over the years, I would hint around about wanting another child and Chuck would just give me those looks. My heart longed for another baby and I felt he would never understand, afterall we had been blessed with FOUR. I decided that it was not fair of me to ask for another, it had to be a joint decision, we both had to want this and I knew he didn't want another baby. I began to pray, everyday, I would ask God to change my heart. "Please God make me turn my feelings away from wanting another baby". I didn't feel as if it was working, but I never gave up~~I just tried to avoid babies no matter where I went. I would turn my head in restaurants, walk away from strollers in the mall, I was determined to make myself not want another baby. I will NEVER forget the next thing that I will share with you. I was driving home from Hobby Lobby and Chuck called (he was in California). He told me to call him when I got home and could talk. I went numb, I couldn't imagine what could be so important that he couldn't share with me right then, after all he was 2500 miles away from me and the phone was the only way we could communicate. So, I drove home quickly, thinking I might throw up at any minute. LOL I went to my room, locked the door and I called him. It seemed as if he would never answer the phone. . . I think it only rang three times LOL Anyway, I can't remember his exact words, but he asked if I was sitting down, then he said that he wasn't sure what I had done to him, but that he KNEW that before we were too old, he wanted us to have another baby. I just cried!!! I couldn't stop!!! I had prayed that God would change my heart for almost 18 months and suddenly He decided to just change my husband's instead. So, it was decided, we were going to once again add to our family. So, the journey began, I was now turning 41 years old. Chuck was 43 and our kids 20, 18, 13 and 10. I often wondered, were we crazy? I Never found out the answer to that question honestly, but I know that we love each other and we love our children, so let the journey begin. On October 3, 2008 I flew to Las Vegas to meet Chuck, he was working there and we had some important business to take care of. Upon my arrival there, we took the "big" test. The score was just what we had hoped it would be. We WERE Pregnant. We spent the next three days just enjoying each other and the newness this baby was bringing to us. On Sunday, I had to fly home and he had to stay. I came home to some very excited kids, we had told them over the phone together about our "news". The next few days were uneventful, yet very exciting. Suddenly, on Octber 15th, things went terribly wrong. I had to call Chuck on the phone to tell him that I had lost our baby to a miscarriage once again. Both of our hearts were broken. I couldn't believe that God had brought us so far and now it was over. Somehow, I knew that God was still telling me to keep the Faith. I know that He has something great in store for us~~for our whole family. So let's now let the story continue. . . and baby WILL make seven.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Tomorrow will make two years. . .

I loved you the minute I knew I was pregnant, I prayed that we would hold you soon. But God had other plans for you, my angel, HE took you home to be with HIM. ♥ Tomorrow will mark the two year anniversary since you so suddenly had to leave us. I think of you often sweet baby and YES I still cry over never getting to hold you. Quickly, I dry my tears when I remember that you are safe in your Heavenly Father's arms. I look forward to the day that I will meet you for the first time my precious child. I love you forever! Mommy